Frontier City recently finished up their summer season but they're already prepping for their Halloween brouhaha. I was out there recently shooting some footage (and dodging the rain) and when I was exiting through the gift shop, I remembered it's been awhile since I did one of these "Top 5 For Sale" list. So with that uninspired preamble, here we go...
5. Sweat Pants
This one may seem a little mundane but that's kind of the point. I just can't imagine anyone buying sweat pants at an amusement park gift shop. It's almost like it's both too big of a purchase yet too small of a purchase all at the same time. "Those rides were super fun but now I want to pick up some sweat pants at the gift shop before we go home." And if buying sweat pants at the gift shop is actually very common, please don't tell me. I prefer to live in my own delusions.
4. Bigfoot Magnet
Yeah, I know. I keep beating the Bigfoot drum but no one else seems all that interested. But Oklahoma really needs to play up its relationship to the mythical monster. I'd like to see sightings increase and a flood of new Bigfoot related attractions across the state...or at least along Route 66.
3. Frontier City Snow Globe
And speaking of the Mother Road, nothing says "old school kitschy souvenir" like the gold ol' snow globe. Sure, the inside might contain a somewhat generic Ferris Wheel but the base is totally branded with a Frontier City vibe. That lettering is definitely raised and that takes effort! Effort I appreciate.
2. Rainbow Squid Hat
Hats go in and out of style on all the time and non-fashion forward folks like myself can never keep up. It's times like these when it's necessary to take a sledgehammer to the social customs of the day. And that's where our colorful friends comes in. He fits comfortably between, "I crave attention" and "I NEED attention."
1. Dark Bison T-Shirt
Everything in the world is happening on this shirt. An Oklahoma bison dressed just like Batman except not enough to have to pay for the rights to the character! Is this a recurring character in Frontier City canon? I don't know. And it not only glows in the dark, it "High Def" glows in the dark! What does that mean? I don't know. But it's the wise man who admits there is much he does NOT know...possibly.
Well those are my picks this time. And the most important thing to remember here is: if you've bought sweat pants at a theme park gift shop, please don't tell me.